The Boringer the Better(er?)

I have always had a big issue with people who seem to think their life is just so much infinitely more interesting than others and everyone else is boring. They are that person who hears you say “oh I just worked all weekend” and responds all big eyed “oh sounds like a blast” paired with the awkward ‘I pity you because I think your life is boring as shit’ nervous laugh (story of my life).  Then he/she will launch into some story about how their car got stolen as they were at dinner so they called the cops and Eminem showed up instead and went clubbing with them and who gave them a free cell phone and a song appearance on his new album, all weekend long.  I don’t necessarily resent people who seem to live above the level of cool in terms of their general life, but I certainly do not appreciate my 24 hour work weekend being knocked as excitement-lessly boring.  Hey…it was so exciting to see how busy a Saturday was and to get take out for lunch. That salad was the bomb! So you met Eminem, while I once again ate from plastic cutlery and had to eat one bite every half hour due to how swamped we were. Basically…I have always appreciated a routine and revel in the down time when it’s available.  Being boring really is way more fun than most people think. It poses all kinds of benefits like the security of a full night’s sleep, avoidance of ‘lost all my personal property at the bar’ nights, and the ability to answer what are your plans for this weekend (uh let me check…yep working again). It is okay to have consistency especially in your personal life.

 In class the other day we had to go around and do those dreadfully painful introductions that professors make you do when they feel too awkward about reading you the syllabus and then letting you leave too early. The worst part is seeing the pain on everyone’s face as they stand up and try to look as nice and approachable as possible. I am constantly amazed at my ability to forget to answer a mere four statements about myself…I always leave out “what was the most interesting thing you did this summer?”  The entire class went around and there were the exciting people who had amazing hanging with Eminem summers. As the three exciting summer people rattled off their vacations the mood took a turn for the worst when the rest of the class responded by saying that everyone didn’t do anything fun or interesting, we all apparently just hung around and worked.  It was like we all were so let down by the lack of coolness in our lives. We went on to each new person, and every time it was like the entire class had such high hopes of hearing just one skydiving story only to be crushed to hear that they just stayed home helping Grandma (which I thought was absolutely adorable to say!). I looked around wondering if I should make something ridiculous up like swam with alligators while harnessed in a meat suit just to up the morale during the first hours of what is sure to be a very long semester.  

I didn’t really start to feel inadequate about my generic answer that was to come until the professor interrupted saying, “Is that really all you guys do? I’m sorry your lives are so boring.”

Aw man again with the why is your life so boring thing?  I even felt a little offended.  You should know that the most exciting thing he did this summer was that he made it to every single reds game. Look out we are in the presence of a regular old Nik Wallenda. Without ranting too much…what about repeatedly cooking in pure summer inferno, squished in between crowd members dressed in camo and sweaty jean shorts, sounds like fun? Not to mention that most of the time you go and the biggest excitement is the fact that you get a hot dog for a dollar. I love a baseball game as much as the next person but come on...my weekend takeout easily competes with your dollar hot dog. 

What I ended up taking away from the class that day was that boring is in the eye of the beholder.  And even if you are legitimately boring you are a perfectly acceptable member of society. Us boring people are the reliable ones, you know where you can find us, and we will listen with ‘edge of your seat anticipation’ to how exciting your life is in comparison.  

Exhibit A

-R

Bar Blunders

At dinner before heading out

Last week we went out for one of my best friend's 21st birthday. I know you are thinking of every cliche that comes in hand with a 21st birthday...and chances are all of those things you are thinking right now probably happened x10 on this special night. Being newly 21 myself I was beyond excited to expand my bar horizons. I mean expand beyond the classy bars that I have experienced thus far which range from the night everyone at Woody's got thrown up on by some reckless girl on a mission, or when the bouncer with braided sideburns wasn't there at Northside for karaoke night.  Clearly I have a long way to go on expanding my bar sophistication. As we hit the town for my friend's big night out we were all prepared for just about anything.  We went all over downtown Cincinnati, everyone clad in flat sandals in anticipation of this night that was just asking for an ankle sprain (everyone except the birthday girl in her 4 inch heels of course). Our first stop was going to this new roof top bar that just opened called 21c. It was one of those places where you had to put a name in, elevator to the top, and proceed to carry on your night with a city view and posh white couches.  This group of newly legal gals had no idea what places like this looked like. So naturally when our name got called we all chugged the gin and tonics that were ordered during the wait...primed to be on our best behavior. When we got to the top of the elevator ride I realized what it felt like to be the youngest person at the bar. Here are a few ways to avoid the happenings on the roof top at 21c.

1. Do not walk into the bar like a field trip class going to the museum: we roll in with half of  a first grade class (11 people) on this tiny rooftop space that barely has room to stand oohing and ahing the whole time. I'm not sure what was worse getting looked at like we were a stampede of rhinos charging in, or tripping over everyone's feet in our snakelike shuffle towards a standing place. Smaller bars like this better accommodate more intimate parties and are usually in an atmosphere where the mood is softer and not as much 'just chugged my gin and tonic' drunk. Come on have a little fun people.

2. Resist the urge to simultaneously whip our your cell phones and not say a word as everyone snaps instagram pics upon first arriving, you look like tourists: I am fully guilty of taking tons of pictures at this place the other night. How could you not when all you have been used to seeing are frat boys doing shots and passing out on nasty vinyl bar floors? As I was snapping away I looked around and realized the other 10 people I was with were doing the exact same thing standing side by side

Such a fun group of people around the illegal to sit on hot tub

blocking the entire view for everyone else while we got stares that I'm shocked didn't cause our phones to self destruct.  I think part of getting older is realizing that your world does not need to be documented minute by minute through a fancy "twilight" filter. Their less than friendly stares forced me to continue to snap in secrecy, but also challenged me to be more aware of being present in the moment as opposed to thinking about how cool I'm going to look online. 

3. Low lighting, expensive wine, and people eating seaweed appetizers while discussing the morality of city rehabilitation means use your inside voice: How could you blame us for this one, where we come from the louder you talk at the bar the more fun you're having with your friends, which correlates with your overall coolness level.  When we walked into this place where 60 people collectively were not talking above a whisper it seemed only natural to try and turn the volume up by shouting about pictures and to come "see the view over here." I'm sure there was some form of gasping at this gorgeous scene too.  I may have loudly inquired about getting a group picture only to see the woman to my right sipping some sort of martini that probably cost half my rent roll her eyes causing me to immediately realize how I looked like that 5 year old who gets overly excited about seeing the gorillas at the zoo.  Noted, be quiet at cool bars, or at least around expensive martinis. 

4. Do not sit on the hot tub cover: This just topped it off as I identified myself as the least sophisticated person at the bar by sitting on the hot tub cover instead of casually leaning against it like everyone else. The security guard who may as well been working for the FBI the way he was patrolling the place quickly called me out for my mistake, reinforcing the lack of awareness that I felt in this whole situation.

Best friend and I rooftop in down town post getting scolded for my hot tub fiasco

Despite how these suggestions make it sound like we had a horrible time at this 'too cool for school' bar, we really did have the best time.  The scene was gorgeous and an intimate feel that was ideal for starting out night of debauchery out. As someone who can be called overly sensitive and too concerned with others opinions, I am sure that I was hyper aware of the disapproval of our presence. It was amazing to start the night with a glamorous view with some of my oldest friends. We had an opportunity to chat and pretend like we lived the sort of life where bars like this were a regular event.  It was a much needed glance into how much fun being legal could really be. Luckily we didn't stay at the fancy bar too long. We quickly found out way down to Tin Roof where people were spilling drinks and bouncing a blow up doll around the room. Now this is what I'm talking about! Back in our element with shots being hammered and stumbling blurry eyed into the graffiti bathrooms among the blaring country music... umm does anyone want to go back to 21c?
-R