Falling Apart in a Parking Lot

cubiclerefugee.tumblur.com

I have always been amazed at the outcomes of group settings. You hear about it all the time when 40 people watch someone get robbed, or you decide to get an iPhone because everyone else has those little tech boxes of infinite wisdom and coolness.

What is even more interesting is to see how you personally choose to deal with these situations. The agony of going against the grain can usually be enough to keep you on the sidelines. Heaven forbid someone stares at you. You can always notice these situations at huge public places like the grocery store or mall.

The holidays in general can be one huge conglomeration of these pack mentality instances, and a huge test of either being part of the action or a member of the crowd.

Recently at IKEA this whole do what everyone else does idea was put to the test. I am convinced that if you need to learn any thing at any point in time about life you merely need to go to IKEA. Within those furniture covered walls is a playground for human interaction. Aside from the randomness that you can purchase, it literally satisfies tastes from troll doll shower curtains, to amoeba shaped mirrors, and even vegetable throw pillows.

Every someone or something is sure to provide you with an experience that you know is only possible at IKEA. I'm talking about you meatball macaroni in the cafe.

So of course my last trip there was no exception. I wasn't even in the front door when all hell broke loose. I was walking in with my cart when a rogue cart filled with Tupperware and loofahs goes flying by. Behind is a man flailing one  arm in distress, balancing a lamp and place mats in the other one. The cart is literally emulating a Frisbee as it shoots kitchen organizers from all angles.  And everyone around is staring in awe. My moral conscious was reaching serious lows as I watched three cars proceed to flatten some Swedish version of Rubbermaid. As he scrambled to grab what little remained at that point, the wind picked up and blew those place mats like napkins across the lot. 

This was clearly the last straw. You could see the distressed man just trying to get a little organization in his life was quickly losing faith as he lost distance on the cart. I watched everyone continue to walk by and the cars demolish half the purchase and couldn't believe no one stepped in. I had a few fly away place mats land near me and quickly tried to grab what survived for the man, but he was too far gone as he sprinted to his car with about 1/4 of what he originally had.

No one deserves to have their life fall apart in a parking lot. Had there been less people watching, maybe someone would have decided to stop before flattening an entire cart full.

So moral of the story is, when helping others in public distress....

• Their humiliation is greater than yours.

• Everyone deserves excessive amounts of organizational kitchen ware.

• You can be the one to step up...

• ...because your neighbor probably isn't.

• It will probably be you next, aka cramming a whole room's worth of decoration into a Toyota Camry {fail}

• Flailing arms, and vortex like carts are no sympathy tactic.

• If you feel like you should help then you probably should.

Best of luck at your next IKEA adventure!

RV

Dirty Laundry

A huge obstacle I have encountered since being in college is how to wash my clothes without using some Dawn in the kitchen sink. After bumming one to many free loads at friends and family houses, I decided to check out the local laundromat. Of course I had to go late night, was tucked securely between an Ameristop and the Check n Go.  This place was crowded for 12am on a Sunday night. I realized that there were only three people in the whole place, but got confused when nearly all of the washers and dryers were filled. 

Turns out one of the laundry doers was occupying the entire row.  This amazed me even further as I realized that someone had to commit to not doing laundry for a very very long period of time in order to amass enough material to fill 10 units of washers and dryers.  I found my dryer in the deep corner of the building, it was one of the low tech dryers that didn’t have a touch screen and instead used what looked like displaced dial phone buttons as setting preferences.  To my right was a girl eating peanut butter out of a jar with her finger wearing a sweatshirt that said I make pretty babies.  She looked over at me sniffed up what sounded like a mouth full of butter, and too a gulp of her apple

A trip to remember

juice to wash it down.  As I stifled my gag reflex the dryer that was in use above mine buzzed stop.  Another girl wearing all black sauntered over bumping my laundry basket out of her way without a care.  The back of her sweatshirt said vampire and her pants were tinted with the print of a human skull. These jeans looked like they may have been a DIY art project, since I cant imagine a more original pants pattern being sold at just any old store.   

As I sat there taking in the scene around me I realized I wasn’t much better off.  I was wearing a zip up hoodie that was two sizes too big.  I had deliberately chosen not to shower after my workout thinking that if this look was suitable anywhere this was the place.  My hair was disheveled as I made the rookie mistake of touching the inside of the dryer which apparently was set warm enough to bake some brownies.  After figuring out which quarter insert to use I found out to my surprise that this place is cheaper than the sketchy basement machines at my apartment building...I guess the trade off was there weren't any vampires in my building's basement. As I grabbed the rest of my stuff vampire turned to me and commented that she liked my sweatshirt.  I reflexively responded that I liked her pants and she strolled away past peanut butter girl who was still digging away in the jar of jiffy. This certainly was a more exciting way to get some chores done. 

-R