Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Boringer the Better(er?)

I have always had a big issue with people who seem to think their life is just so much infinitely more interesting than others and everyone else is boring. They are that person who hears you say “oh I just worked all weekend” and responds all big eyed “oh sounds like a blast” paired with the awkward ‘I pity you because I think your life is boring as shit’ nervous laugh (story of my life).  Then he/she will launch into some story about how their car got stolen as they were at dinner so they called the cops and Eminem showed up instead and went clubbing with them and who gave them a free cell phone and a song appearance on his new album, all weekend long.  I don’t necessarily resent people who seem to live above the level of cool in terms of their general life, but I certainly do not appreciate my 24 hour work weekend being knocked as excitement-lessly boring.  Hey…it was so exciting to see how busy a Saturday was and to get take out for lunch. That salad was the bomb! So you met Eminem, while I once again ate from plastic cutlery and had to eat one bite every half hour due to how swamped we were. Basically…I have always appreciated a routine and revel in the down time when it’s available.  Being boring really is way more fun than most people think. It poses all kinds of benefits like the security of a full night’s sleep, avoidance of ‘lost all my personal property at the bar’ nights, and the ability to answer what are your plans for this weekend (uh let me check…yep working again). It is okay to have consistency especially in your personal life.

 In class the other day we had to go around and do those dreadfully painful introductions that professors make you do when they feel too awkward about reading you the syllabus and then letting you leave too early. The worst part is seeing the pain on everyone’s face as they stand up and try to look as nice and approachable as possible. I am constantly amazed at my ability to forget to answer a mere four statements about myself…I always leave out “what was the most interesting thing you did this summer?”  The entire class went around and there were the exciting people who had amazing hanging with Eminem summers. As the three exciting summer people rattled off their vacations the mood took a turn for the worst when the rest of the class responded by saying that everyone didn’t do anything fun or interesting, we all apparently just hung around and worked.  It was like we all were so let down by the lack of coolness in our lives. We went on to each new person, and every time it was like the entire class had such high hopes of hearing just one skydiving story only to be crushed to hear that they just stayed home helping Grandma (which I thought was absolutely adorable to say!). I looked around wondering if I should make something ridiculous up like swam with alligators while harnessed in a meat suit just to up the morale during the first hours of what is sure to be a very long semester.  

I didn’t really start to feel inadequate about my generic answer that was to come until the professor interrupted saying, “Is that really all you guys do? I’m sorry your lives are so boring.”

Aw man again with the why is your life so boring thing?  I even felt a little offended.  You should know that the most exciting thing he did this summer was that he made it to every single reds game. Look out we are in the presence of a regular old Nik Wallenda. Without ranting too much…what about repeatedly cooking in pure summer inferno, squished in between crowd members dressed in camo and sweaty jean shorts, sounds like fun? Not to mention that most of the time you go and the biggest excitement is the fact that you get a hot dog for a dollar. I love a baseball game as much as the next person but come weekend takeout easily competes with your dollar hot dog. 

What I ended up taking away from the class that day was that boring is in the eye of the beholder.  And even if you are legitimately boring you are a perfectly acceptable member of society. Us boring people are the reliable ones, you know where you can find us, and we will listen with ‘edge of your seat anticipation’ to how exciting your life is in comparison.  

Exhibit A